Wanders every five miles
焦仲卿Johnny(J for short) 刘兰芝Lunch(L for short)
焦母Johnny’s mother(JM for short) 刘母Lunch’s mother(LM for short)
太守之子Mayor’s son(MS for short)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J: Everybody says that I am henpecked ,but in fact, I am as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wife is Wu Song.
(指着上台处的门大声道)I am not afraid of you !
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then, I am afraid of whom?
My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighborhood. She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me. All of this I do not care. I only want her to be tender than me. But she is not! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
(内又砸出一纸筒,击中J)
My God! Who can help me? (下)
Act 1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):I can!
(对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here! What’s up mum?
JM:I have told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.
L: OK. My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?
JM: Since you married my son you have behaved so badly. You have been so rude, so lazy……
L: But……
JM: Never interrupt me!
L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing. I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……
JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲): Oh, you want a grandson ,don’t you?(开始解围裙)I tell you, I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L: Mum, I’m back!
LM: You are back? Why? What happened?
L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor, but you did not listen to me. Look at yourself……
L: But, mum……
LM: Never interrupt me!
L: Mum, I am not interrupting you. I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And I will marry whom ever you want me to.
LM(大喜):Nice girl! Just now, I met the mayor’s son in the market. He said:“If your daughter have not been married, I really really want to marry her!” Now you are free again, I will go and tell him. (下)
L(惊愕):What? The mayor’s son? The most famous playboy in the neighborhood? (手中的锅铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch! Lunch! Where are my socks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下)
Er! How smelly! They are still dirty!
(突然想起)Lunch has gone! I have to wash them by myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh, I am so hungry! But there is no breakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)This is what Lunch always wears! I miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! Now she has gone. I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM(上):Where is my breakfast? Where is Lunch? Has not she got up yet?
J: Mum, can not you remember? Lunch has gone!
JM(沉吟片刻): Well, to tell you the truth ,lunch will marry major’s son. Johnny, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl, go and take her back!
J(立正敬礼):Yes madam!
Act4
(转眼已到了婚礼之期.MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒,挥拳向J打来.J矮身一躲,MS打中了J身后的L,L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!(挥拳向MS冲去)
(J与MS混战,JM上,以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L,关切地问):Honey, how are you?
L(哭状):I hurt a lot!
J: Do not cry baby. I will go and fetch the medicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下)
(音乐起 Can You Celebrate)