南师附中高二本次考试作文考察的是读后续写,文章选自2014的《路标》
(Guideposts)杂志,讲述的是美国电视明星Michael Landon(本名Eugene
Maurice Orowitz)童年时期的经历,作者是Michael Landon本人。
阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
If there's one thing I can't stand people saying, it's, Tm not good at anything. I don't have any talent/1 I just don't buy that at all. To me, everyone has at least one talent, and while it sometimes takes you a lifetime to find, it does exist. There was a time when I didn't believe that. What changed my mind was a seemingly small event that took place in 1953.
At that time I was a high school student. I was a funny-looking skinny boy named Euqene O「owitz, who weighed barely 100 pounds. I was a good student, but as far as I was concerned, in just about every other aspect I was a loser. I wanted to fit in, to be someone and do something well. But I hadn't found anything I was good at. One sunny afternoon, our qym class went out to the schooPs running track. The teacher taught us all various track and field events. I was a loser in all of them. Then came the javelin (标).Suddenly something inside me began saying, "Try it! Try it!” I had to wait for my turn, though, trying not to look too eager. Finally, when everyone had had a chance to throw — the best th「ow going about 30 yards — I looked at the teacher.
"Hey, Orowitz, you want to t「y?" he asked.
Embarrassed, I looked down, but managed to nod my head.
"Well, come on then," he said impatiently, and handed me the javelin. Behind me I could hear some of my classmates laughing. As I grasped the javelin in my hand, I was seized with a strange feeling — a new-found excitement. For some crazy reason, I was relaxed over what I was about to do, even though I'd never done it before. I raised the javelin over my head, took six quick steps and let the thing qo. The same voice that had urged me to throw it, now told me it was a good throw.
注意:
1.所续写短文的词数应为150词左右;
2.应使用5个以上短文标有下划线的关键词语;
3.续写部分分为两段,每段的幵头语已为你写好;
4.续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph 1:
/ watched as the javelin took off.
Paragraph 2:
That night I took the javelin home with me.
【新东方名师点评】
材料一开头就通过"everyone has at least a talent"以及"What changed my mind was a seemingly small event that took place back in 1953"点明文章主旨, 即作者1953年发现了自己的一项天赋,从后文可知它是掷标。在材料中我们 须注意到作者尝试了其他的田径项目并且都失败了,在掷标时也遭到了身后同 学的嘲笑,最终心底的声音告诉作者:那一掷非常不错--这些都是在续写中需 要注意到的前后反差。
续写第一段首句紧接上一段末句,标飞在空中还没有落地,但显然标飞 得比所有人预料得都远,此时可以适当描写作者的心理变化。当标落地后,由 于那一掷刷新了最好成绩(原文中超过了 50码,可以肯定的是超过30码), 老师、同学、作者自然对其有不同反应,须重点描写。
续写第二段说作者把标带回了家,这跟足球运动员上演帽子戏法后可以把 球带回家当纪念品性质是不一样的。作者当时还是一名学生,没有老师的许可, 是不能把学校公共财产带回家的。所以要么在上一段最后,要么在此段第二句, 须对此有个交代,使情节更为连贯。标带回家之后,作者可能会向父母炫耀, 也可能拿着标继续练习,甚至最终成为一名出色的标运动员,此处适当发挥
想象即可,注意要和文章主旨呼应,点明作者找到了自己的天赋--掷标。
总结:该篇读后续写故事情节发展很自然,只要抓住文章主旨,就不难进行 合理续写,总体难度适中。该篇材料中的划线单词gym和track以及对掷标 动作的具体描写,对于不关注体育的同学来说会显得陌生,因此这些同学在理解 上可能会吃亏。
【新东方名师原创范文】
I watched as the javelin took off. I saw it drawing a beautiful arc in the air and flying lightly over the mark of 30 yards. My heartbeat started to speed up with my nerve tightened like a full bow. Then came the teacher's voice in disbelief: "44 yards! Oh! My! Our Orowitz has thrown out an incredible record!" In no time, I was overwhelmed by the loud cheers of my classmates. But I could only hear the soft inner voice saying to me: "Now, you have your own talent." The teacher walked to me with the javelin. "Keep it", he said encouragingly, "You are going to be an excellent Javelin thrower.”
That night I took the javelin home with me. I shared the amazing experience with my parents and couldn't wait to show them my ability right after my story. Supported by my dear parents, I applied to join the school track team for more professional training and then began my practice day after day. I had seen the stars above the playground early in the morning as well as late in the night and everything finally paid off as I came first in the National Javelin Championship. So, here is what I want to tell to those so-called "stupid kids": Sometimes, you need to wait for your talent to find you, not the other way around. But when the opportunity comes, please seize it without hesitation. Your talent never fails you.