新郎的保证书

    本人谨以赤诚之心,在此立此宣言：结婚之后，工资奖金全交，剩菜剩饭全包，家务杂活全干，一切以太太的话为最高宗旨，遵循2条原则：第一条，老婆永远是对的；第二条，如果老婆错了，请参照第一条。                                                                                                                                

    在思想上，坚持拥护老婆的绝对领导，坚定不移的走老婆指定的路线，家里老婆是第一位，我是第四位。                                                                                                                                

    在举止上，爱护老婆，保证老婆开心时要陪她开心，不开心时要哄她开心；做文明丈夫，做到"打不还手，骂不还口，打了左手送右手"。                                                                

    在生活上，陪老婆逛街时不喊累，而且要主动用平时省下来的零用钱付帐；锻炼身体，天天向上；严格遵守作息时间，早上按时起床，晚上按时睡觉。节假日认真组织学习厨艺及推拿技术。虚心接受老婆监督，尤其不能跟陌生女人搭话，当然，问路的老太太和五岁以下的小朋友除外。                                                                                                                                

    努力遵守 新三从四得                                                                

    老婆出门要跟"从"                                                                

    老婆命令要服"从"                                                                

    老婆讲错要盲"从"                                                                

    老婆化妆要等"得"                                                                

    老婆花钱要舍"得"                                                                

    老婆生气要忍"得"                                                                

    老婆生日要记"得"                                                                                                                                

    其他事宜，由女方提出，可以适当增减，男方无权反对，也无权提出议案。                                                                

    此结婚保证书自 年 月 日生效，请老婆大人保存。                                                                

    --保证人：                 手印：                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

    用3种不同方言读河东狮吼那段8秒以内                                                                                                                                

    从现在开始，我只疼你一个。我会宠你，决不会骗你。答应你的每一件事情，我都会做到。对你讲的每一句话，都是真话。不欺负你，不骂你，会相信你。有人欺负你，我会第一时间出来帮你。你开心的时候，我会陪着你开心；你不开心，我也会哄得你开心。永远觉得你最漂亮，做梦都会梦见你。在我的心里，永远只有你一个。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

    1、不让他们进来，第一轮讨红包                                                                                                                                

    2、给了红包以后，红包太少诚意不够，接受问题考验                                                                                                                                

    老婆生日什么时候                                                                

    老婆身份证号码                                                                

    老婆手机号码                                                                

    结婚证号码                                                                

    老婆最喜欢什么花                                                                

    老婆最喜欢唱的歌                                                                

    老婆最喜欢吃的零食                                                                

    老婆的口头禅                                                                

    两人第一次认识是什么时候                                                                

    第一次牵老婆的手是什么时候                                                                

    第一次亲老婆是什么时候，什么地点                                                                

    求婚是什么时候，什么地点。                                                                                                                                

    说出爱老婆的五个理由                                                                                                                                

    说出9种平时称呼老婆的爱称（不肉麻的不过关）                                                                                                                                

    餐巾纸上印满唇印，猜错就做俯卧撑20个，边喊老婆，嫁给我。                                                                

    答案伴娘不满意的 红包拿来篇二：结婚保证书                                                                            

    如果你的朋友要出嫁了，为了不让男方轻易的把你的朋友接走，是不是要写一份结婚保证书呢？不过也可以事先准备好，让男方大声的读出来多有意思啊！小编特地准备的搞笑结婚保证书二则。让新郎大声的念出来吧。                                                                                                                                

    结婚保证书 一                                                                                                                                

    尊敬的各位领导，亲爱的父老乡亲们，今天，是我和xxx新婚大喜的日子，为了响应党的号召，牢记党的教诲，在新家庭建立以前，为维护家庭和睦，路上手牵手，实现共同的生活目标，让老婆家人放心，让父老乡亲们放心，现在我做以下保证：                                                                

    第一，坚持拥护老婆的绝对领导，坚定不移的走老婆指定的路线，家里老婆是第一位，孩子第二位，我第三位。                                                                

    第二，爱护老婆，做文明丈夫，做到"打不还手，骂不还口，打了左手送右手" 。   第三，锻炼身体，天天向上。严格遵守作息时间，早上按时起床，晚上按时睡觉。节假日认真组织学习厨艺及推拿技术。                                                                

    第五，虚心接受老婆监督，尤其不能跟陌生女人搭话，当然，问路的老太太和五岁以下的小朋友除外。                                                                

    作为一名党员，时刻要用新一代的荣辱观严格要求自己：                                                                

    以爱老婆为荣，以背叛老婆为耻;                                                                

    以为老婆做饭为荣，以让老婆做饭为耻；老婆如果洗锅，我必须站在旁边唱歌。   以真心疼老婆为荣，以故意气老婆为耻；                                                                

    以服从老婆为荣，以违背老婆为耻；                                                                

    认真贯彻"老婆永远是对的，如果老婆错了，请参照老婆永远是对的这一条执行"的方针。   此结婚保证书自xxxx年x月x日生效，请老婆大人保存。                                                                

    --保证人：xxx                                                                                                                                

    结婚保证书 二                                                                                                                                

    结婚保证书                                                                

    本人谨以赤诚之心,在此立此宣言：结婚之后，工资奖金全交，剩菜剩饭全包，家务杂活全干，一切以太太的话为最高宗旨，遵循2条原则：第一，太太的话都是对的；第二，即使太太错了，按照第一条执行。具体实施细则，详见结婚保证书附件。                                                                                                                                

    宣誓人： × × ×                                                              × 年 × 月 × 日                                                                

    结婚保证书附件一：                                                                                                                                

    01.老婆用餐时要随侍一旁，舀汤盛饭；不得有先行用饭之行为。                                                                

    02.老婆化妆时要快乐等候，衷心赞美；不得有不耐等候之行为。                                                                

    03.老婆穿衣时要帮忙烫衣，提供建议；不得有冷嘲热讽之行为。                                                                

    04.老婆洗澡时要量好水温，抓痒擦背；不得有贪图私欲之行为。                                                                

    05.老婆上班时要宾士接送，保镖护卫；不得有放心社会之行为。                                                                

    06.老婆危险时要奋不顾身，慷慨牺牲；不得有贪生怕死之行为。                                                                                                                                    

    07.老婆很累时要笑脸相迎，按摩捶背；不得有沙文主义之行为。                                                                

    08.老婆血拼时要勇于付款，多所鼓励；不得有不情不愿之行为。                                                                

    09.老婆上菜时要赞不绝口，多吃几碗；不得有偏食挑菜之行为。                                                                

    10.老婆睡觉时要炎夏扇风，寒冬暖被；不得有打呼抢被之行为。                                                                

    11.老婆生病时要亲侍汤药，废寝忘食；不得有漠不关心之行为。                                                                

    12.老婆给钱时要含泪感激，省吃俭用；不得有奢侈浪费之行为。                                                                

    13.老婆节日时要亲自送花，夜备盛宴；不得有随便过过之行为。                                                                

    14.老婆逛街时要不辞辛劳，提携重物；不得有偷懒怕重之行为。                                                                

    15.老婆无聊时要搏命演出，彩衣娱亲；不得有毫无所谓之行为。                                                                

    16.老婆烦恼时要温柔安抚，分忧解劳；不得有火上加油之行为。                                                                

    17.老婆训诫时要两手贴紧，立正站好；不得有心不在焉之行为。                                                                

    18.老婆说话时要凝神静听，勤作笔记；不得有听过就忘之行为。                                                                

    19.老婆犯错时要引咎自责，自揽黑锅；不得有连累老婆之行为。                                                                

    20.老婆外出时要紧守身旁，细心照料；不得有放其孤单之行为。                                                                

    21.老婆起床时要殷勤问安，备妥早餐；不得有睡过了头之行为。                                                                

    22.老婆哀伤时要锥心泣血，悲痛欲绝；不得有面露微笑之行为。                                                                

    23.老婆晚归时要耐心等候，欢颜以对；不得有大发雷霆之行为。                                                                

    24.老婆不在时要朝思暮想，守身如玉；不得有偷鸡摸狗之行为。                                                                

    25.老婆高兴时要张灯结彩，大肆庆祝；不得有泼洒冷水之行为。                                                                

    26.老婆受伤时要侍候敷药，感同身受；不得有责备切怪之行为。                                                                

    27.老婆叫我时要跳起答有，快跑现身；不得有事务繁忙之行为。                                                                

    28.老婆失眠时要彻夜陪伴，帮忙数羊；不得有梦见周公之行为。                                                                

    29.老婆散步时要下雨撑伞，炙夏遮阳；不得有晒伤淋湿之行为。                                                                

    30.老婆经过时要俯首跪立，夹道欢迎；不得有唯我独尊之行为。                                                                                                                                

    结婚保证书附件二：                                                                                                                                

    新三从四得                                                                

    老婆出门要跟"从"                                                                

    老婆命令要服"从"                                                                

    老婆讲错要盲"从"                                                                

    老婆化妆要等"得"                                                                

    老婆花钱要舍"得"                                                                

    老婆生气要忍"得"                                                                

    老婆生日要记"得"                                                                                                                                

    结婚保证书附件三：细则条款                                                                                                                                

    1、男方每月上缴生活费用为工资的70%，下限3000，上不封顶。                                                                

    2、男方另外支付1000元人民币每月，供女方作为监督"男方是否有婚外情"的费用。                                                                

    3、女方享受每月打男方3次的权利，权利可以累计，年终用不完的打人次数，可以由女方提出折算成现金（如果你爱她，可以将打人一次的权利折人民币800元）。                                                                

    4、女方每周可以胳肢男方十分钟，男方不得反抗，女方可以随意挑选地点、时间。                                                                

    5、男方负责做饭，每天都要三菜一汤，一个星期内一道菜不可以重复两次以上，并负                                                                                                                                    

    责收拾碗筷。                                                                

    6、男方要定期给女方买衣服，具体额度女方自己掌握，不过以一月不超过2000元人民币为限度。                                                                

    7、男方不得和女方争电视，并且家里只可以同时开一个电视机。                                                                

    8、男方不得与女方争洗手间，即使内急也不行。                                                                

    9、男方偷看其他美女被抓获，将被适当罚款，或者用罚跪方式抵补，时间由女方掌握。                                                                

    10、男方每天要夸奖女方漂亮三次以上。                                                                

    11、男方每月出差时间不得超过三天，否则将被罚款，超过一天罚款300元人民币。                                                                

    12、男方每年至少带女方出去旅游一次，距离在2000公里以上。                                                                

    13、其他事宜，由女方提出，可以适当增减，男方无权反对，也无权提出议案。                                                                

    14、以上结婚保证书的所有问题解释权在女方！篇三：新郎保证书四篇(搞笑版)                                                                            

    保证书一                                                                                                                                

    亲爱的老婆，我向你承诺：                                                                                                                                

    家务活全包（包括帮老婆洗脚按摩）                                                                

    收入全交（包括地上捡的）                                                                

    剩饭全吃（包括老婆吐出来的）                                                                

    老婆的话全听（包括没道理的）                                                                

    逛街全陪（包括卖内衣的）                                                                                                                                

    保证书二                                                                                                                                

    第一、坚持老婆大人的领导一百年不动摇。在家里老婆最大，孩子第二，宠物第三，我是倒一。                                                                                                                                

    第二，认真贯彻"三从四德"精神，老婆出门要跟"从"，老婆命令要服"从"，老婆讲错要盲"从"，老婆化妆要等"得"，老婆花钱要舍"得"，老婆生气要忍"得"，老婆生日要记"得"。                                                                

    第三，爱护老婆，做个好丈夫，做到"打不还手，骂不还口，笑脸迎送冷面孔。"                                                                

    第四，听从老婆大人的教诲，不和陌生人（尤其是陌生女人）说话，当然，问路的老太太除外。实行工资全额上缴制度，不得私藏赃款！每月零花钱由老婆在月初分配，如有特殊情况，需要提前一天申请。                                                                

    保证书三：                                                                                                                                

    我向老婆大人保证，我会做到以下两点：                                                                                                                                

    老婆说的话永远都是对的！                                                                                                                                

    如果老婆所错了，仍然参照第一条执行。                                                                                                                                

    保证人：xxx                                                                                                                                

    日期：xx年xx月xx日                                                                                                                                

    新郎保证书四篇（搞笑版）                                                                                                                                

    保证书四                                                                                                                                

    本人谨以赤诚之心,在此宣誓：                                                                                                                                

    保证老婆开心时要陪她开心，不开心时要哄她开心；保证主动做家务，家里最脏最累的活都要抢着干；保证只要老婆喜欢的事，绝对全力支持，积极配合，不说                                                                                                                                    

    老婆不喜欢听的话，不做老婆不喜欢做的事；保证出差要请假，晚回家吃饭也要请假，买超过50元以上的东西要申请。                                                                

    宣誓人：xxx                                                                                                                                

    xx年xx月xx日篇四：结婚保证书                                                                            

    问题集合                                                                

    1、老婆生日？几几年几月几日？阴历？                                                                

    2、唱歌3首，分别要带名字里的一个字，可谐音，不可改词！                                                                

    3、说10个需要送老婆礼物的节日。                                                                

    4、丈母娘生日或手机号码？                                                                

    5、做10个俯卧撑。                                                                

    6、唱"月亮代表我的心"这句歌词，最后心字要拖尾音，拖多长说明有多爱老婆！（1分钟以上为合格）                                                                

    7、第一次见面是几几年几月几日几点天气情况如何，地点在哪？（2004年8月22日下午2点左右，小雨，彭城广场）                                                                

    8、宣读保证书，并签字画押！伴郎作为见证人一起签字画押！                                                                

    下面小编就来为您介绍一下当下最流行的新郎接新娘堵门游戏，告诉您结婚怎么为难新郎!? 一、 第一道门 新郎接新娘堵门游戏1、新郎要大喊3声："我亲爱的新娘子，求求你开开门，放我这个可怜虫进去吧!"声音要大到最里面的新娘子听到才算数。 新郎接新娘堵门游戏2、小舅子要死命挡住，无论男方如何苦苦哀求或是危言相逼，都要顶住男方的软磨硬泡、胁迫威胁。结婚怎么为难新郎?要逼迫男方至少拿出两条香烟、50个红包(里面放2块到5块不等)。 新郎接新娘堵门游戏3、叫新郎脱了鞋，并脱下袜子，用两只袜子装满喜糖，交给小舅子。结婚怎么为难新郎?可以给新郎宾馆房里的纸拖鞋穿。 新郎接新娘堵门游戏4、做到如上3条，方可放新郎进门。 二、 第二道门 新郎接新娘堵门游戏1、 新郎要大喊3声："嫦娥姐姐，猪八戒来迎亲咯!" 新郎接新娘堵门游戏2、 声色并茂地朗诵以下承诺，粗体字必须双倍音量喊出来，括号里的字不必念出来，但必须符合括号中的要求。结婚怎么为难新郎?结婚后我只疼你一个人，绝对宠你，绝不骗你，答应你的每一件事我保证做到，对你讲的每一句话都发自我内心，绝不欺 1000 负你，更不可能骂你，永远相信你，别人要是敢欺侮你，我一定第一时间出来帮你打他。你开心呢，我就陪着你开心，你不开心呢，(这句话必须伴随动作)我演猪八戒哄你开心，我一辈子觉得你是最漂亮的，下辈子还这么觉得，梦里面天天见你!在我的心里面(用《大话西游》中唐僧的经典唱词唱出来)only you! 新郎接新娘堵门游戏3、 回答以下问题，答案以新娘满意方为正确，答案错误时要惩罚新郎，罚唱一句情歌或者说一句情话。 (1)第一次见到新娘子是什么时候 (2)最初是如何和新娘子表白爱意的 (3)谈恋爱时候印象最深刻的一件事                                                                

    (4)用10个词来描述现在的心情 (5)说6个让新娘子放你进门的理由 新郎接新娘堵门游戏4、结婚怎么为难新郎?阅读《结婚协议书》，新娘会提一些问题，                                                                                                                                    

    答案全在《结婚协议书》上，须新郎找出并回答，以确保新郎是认真读过协议后才签订的，而非随意签约。 (1)说出亲吻程序是怎样的 (2)打电话吵架时，老公应该怎么做 (3)老婆怀孕期间应该怎么做 (4)找到协议的第四章节第一条，并作出承诺。 (5)找到协议生效要件，并以实际行动使协议生效。 新郎接新娘堵门游戏5、签订《结婚协议书》。结婚怎么为难新郎?唇印、手指头印、脚趾头均采用口红现场涂在嘴唇上、手指头上、脚趾头上再印在协议书上。为造福新郎，可以只涂一个脚趾头，但这个脚趾头要印10下。 6、房间门缝里出来5根红绳，每根红绳上牵着一个人，只有一根红绳的另一头牵着的是新娘子，新郎必须牵对那根红绳，方可开门。结婚怎么为难新郎?牵错一次，塞5个红包进房。再牵错一次，再塞5个红包进房。直到牵对红绳。 新郎接新娘堵门游戏如何做?结婚怎么为难新郎?看完以上小编为您带来的介绍，新郎接新娘堵门游戏怎么做您现在知道了吗?结婚怎么为难新郎您是否已经有所了解了呢?篇五：新郎保证书                                                                            

    为了做好一个称职的好老公，我向老婆郑重保证如下：                                                                

    1. 老婆永远是对的                                                                

    2. 如果不是，那肯定是我想错了                                                                

    3. 如果我没想错，肯定是我听错了                                                                

    4. 如果2、3都不符，那就按照第一条                                                                

    我承诺 家务活全包（包括丈母娘家的）                                                                

    收入全交（包括灰色的）                                                                

    老婆的话全听（包括发嗲的）                                                                

    shopping全陪（包括男性止步的）                                                                

    并附加承诺如下：                                                                

    01、老婆用餐时要随侍一旁，舀汤盛饭;不得有先行用饭之行为。   02、老婆化妆时要快乐等候，衷心赞美;不得有不耐等候之行为。   03、老婆穿衣时要帮忙烫衣，提供建议;不得有冷嘲热讽之行为。   04、老婆洗澡时要量好水温，抓痒擦背;不得有贪图私欲之行为。   05、老婆上班时要宾士接送，保镖护卫;不得有放心社会之行为。   06、老婆危险时要奋不顾身，慷慨牺牲;不得有贪生怕死之行为。   07、老婆很累时要笑脸相迎，按摩捶背;不得有沙文主义之行为。   08、老婆血拼时要勇于付款，多所鼓励;不得有不情不愿之行为。   09、老婆上菜时要赞不绝口，多吃几碗;不得有偏食挑菜之行为。                                                                                                                                    

    10、老婆睡觉时要炎夏扇风，寒冬暖被;不得有打呼抢被之行为。                                                                

    11、老婆生病时要亲侍汤药，废寝忘食;不得有漠不关心之行为。                                                                

    12、老婆给钱时要含泪感激，省吃俭用;不得有奢侈浪费之行为。                                                                

    13、老婆节日时要亲自送花，夜备盛宴;不得有随便过过之行为。                                                                

    14、老婆逛街时要不辞辛劳，提携重物;不得有偷懒怕重之行为。                                                                

    15、老婆无聊时要搏命演出，彩衣娱亲;不得有毫无所谓之行为。                                                                

    16、老婆烦恼时要温柔安抚，分忧解劳;不得有火上加油之行为。                                                                

    17、老婆训诫时要两手贴紧，立正站好;不得有心不在焉之行为。                                                                

    18、老婆说话时要凝神静听，勤作笔记;不得有听过就忘之行为。                                                                

    19、老婆犯错时要引咎自责，自揽黑锅;不得有连累老婆之行为。                                                                

    20、老婆外出时要紧守身旁，细心照料;不得有放其孤单之行为。